So I’m writing this when I should be in bed but bloody work and early morning shifts suck- well the early morning bits anyway.
I think it’s safe that these thoughts have been around in my head for a little while now and I am hoping that by writing it down, I can hopefully find myself eventually in a better place.
I think it’s safe to say that I’ve been struggling for a while- just in general, with nothing in particular if that makes sense.
Actually no- that’s a lie.
There’s a few things that have been really pissing me off , most of which aren’t logical and it makes me feel like a moron.
The worst part is that no matter how I feel I still find a way to excuse people and their bad behaviour even though I know I shouldn’t- does that make me a glutton for punishment?
The worst part of it is the toxic behaviour of someone who thinks they’re a decent person, but with careful analysis, they are nothing but a [redacted] who is also toxic, dangerous and very very harmful. I mean they act like they are innocent- or really dumb!- which initially I thought was endearing, not going to lie. But when their true colours eventually come out, it’s nothing but sheer stupidity and fuck boi behaviour which is nothing more then inexcusable.
[on a side note, how awesome is the word fuckboi- totally love it!!!!]
Anyway, this person is nothing more than a [redacted]- I mean if your behaviour and personality can be influenced by others to such a degree, I mean what sort of person are you in the first person? To me, if you are you nothing more than a weak minded piece of shit.
Life just sucks really not going to lie- at least at the moment. The people who I thought were at least somewhat decent have turned into [redacted, but conversely there’s a person who has turned out to be nothing short of awesomeness- no toxic masculinity here, just a full and open friendship where we both have the upmost respect for each other and we have time for each other.