I have to admit I’m very lucky- I have some awesome people in my life and it’s lead to some really meaningful moments in my life.
So today I was talking with one of those awesome people- we shall call him TJ (no not Hooker either LOL)- and somehow we yet again got talking about societal expectations and how they influence particular groups in society. This particular example we got onto- I don’t know how- is the “trope” of gay people chasing after straight guys versus strength guys trying to “convert” lesbians.
It’s certainly an interesting idea when you think about it; after all it’s the same argument but on different sides of the same coin. After all it’s the idea that one group of people seeming to go after something that they cannot have.
To provide context to this discussion I’m (of course) gay while my friend TJ is straight. Interestingly enough it was TJ that suggested the thesis that conversions never work; that even if a straight dude was to have sex with a lesbian they would still be a lesbian. He also contrasted that with the notion that with a gay seducing a guy it would make the “straight” guy merely bisexual.
Now this is an interesting take if you ask me. Society has always conditioned us to believe that females are “the fairer sex” which is slightly misogynistic if you ask me; I mean it’s probably safe to say they are more enlightened then males due to biologically developing earlier then males. But conversely you must also consider the “nature versus nurture” argument; after all there’s a lot of males that are just in touch with their emotions and thoughts and my friend TJ is nothing short of amazing; we’ve had plenty of discussions where I’ve been amazed by his sensitivity and also how accepting he is.
But I digress.
If we are to to look at the nature versus nurture argument, I think that it must be also considered in this particular discussion with the principal that over the evolution of the homo sapien, that males are still hardwired like their “caveman” predecessors to provide food, warmth, shelter etc for the females and this still plays on the psyche of the male species. The hardworking of this “need” I think is still strong to this day.
But this doesn’t take into account that society expects men to be good for nothing more then a quick shag and not in touch with emotions. If we were to track societal changes and growth of the male homo sapien of the years, I’m sure we could track the growth of men and the evolution from a “caveman” type sloth to an individual that’s in touch with their emotions and can process changes to their perceived “norms”.
So, with these important aspects that are relevant to the discussion let’s move back to the original point of gays attempting to seduce the straights and the straights seducing the lesbians.
I think it’s such a complicated issue- I mean after all I’m guilty of it if I’m being honest with you.
I think in this particular circumstance it’s a psychological thing along with societal expectations; after all society expects people to “chase” another in order to put a ring on it. Society expects people to pair up and for the gays it comes down to chasing and obtaining the unobtainable.
I guess I don’t really have an answer but it’s an interesting question at the end of the day- what’s the root cause of this “issue”.